With the start of a new year, many people get focused on New Year’s resolutions and all of the changes that they want to achieve in the year ahead, but inevitably, many find themselves discouraged, frustrated, or stalled with their progress, often before the end of January. In my experience, we often set our goals too high or aim to change too many things at once or the realities of life drastically interfere with what we really want to change or achieve. I love that the new year brings a natural refresh point, but I don’t love that feeling of failure or dissatisfaction! Thankfully, a couple of years ago, I learned about a concept that has really changed the way I approach that refresh I crave at the start of each year, and I have found so much confidence and satisfaction in this new approach that I want to share it.

    I will be completely honest: I don’t know where this idea started, but I found that there is a book by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen titled “My One Word”, which explains the idea a little further. However, I will provide you with my abridged explanation here: rather than choosing a goal to achieve or a habit or thing to change for yourself, choose a word that you want to define your year ahead. The problem with choosing things we want to change is that we often focus on the negative, but if we focus on what we want to have, then we focus on a positive, which is generally much more encouraging and motivating than the negative focus. Negativity usually does not encourage or motivate, but rather discourages, tears down, and immobilizes.

    To help you get a better understanding of this concept, I’ll provide you an example here. In 2018, I chose the word “serenity” as my word for the year. The reason I chose serenity is that I wanted to work on keeping myself calm and to be able to find peace even when life got crazy, and 2018 was definitely crazy. Since I had chosen serenity at the start of the year, I kept reminders in place throughout the year, which helped me implement the skills I already knew more proactively during the times of chaos, and though I can’t claim to have maintained serenity every day of the entire year (because I’m human and not perfect, of course), I can say that I handled the stressors much more calmly and found more peace than I had in previous times. The best part is that I wasn’t discouraged by an overly specific goal or by too high of an expectation. Choosing a word provides a theme, which allows for missteps and obstacles and the unforeseen, which also helps us feel more accomplished and confident which in turn helps us be more likely to achieve the change we really want.

    I hope that as you consider the possible changes or goals you want to accomplish in 2019 that you will “choose a word” rather than set a resolution. If you want more information about how to select a word or how to implement this concept in your life, please contact me today. If you feel that the changes you wish to make are greater than you feel able to achieve alone, take this opportunity to consider counseling. As your counselor, my job is to help you become a happier and healthier you. I would love to help you achieve your desired changes in 2019! You can call 864-887-5139 or email hollyfrench@mindfulupstate.com to get more information or schedule an appointment.